Emetophobia.

Emetophobia is an extreme fear of vomiting, seeing vomit, watching other people vomit, or even feeling sick.

If you've read my other blog you will know that I've had a fear of being sick since I was a child. It used to impact my life every single day, almost to the point of an eating disorder.

And then it didn't. 

The last time I was sick from anything other than drinking too much, I was in high school. Well over 10 years ago. So I don't really know if I'm still scared of actually being sick or not. I don't think I am, but I don't know how I'd react if it actually came to it. The anxiety is still there but I'm pretty sure the fear of getting sick is worse than actually getting sick! 

I used to be terrified of getting pregnant - how would I cope with morning sickness?! Then I got pregnant and wasn't sick once. Then I was scared of labour... Apparently lots of women are sick during that! Turns out I had a lot more to worry about than being sick! But again, got through it without being sick. 

I was also terrified of having a child because I didn't know how I would cope with them being sick! How could I look after them if the sound of someone being sick gives me a panic attack?! What if they saw my reaction and I passed on this phobia? What if they just wanted a cuddle from me and I couldn't give them one?

Well it turns out... I can do all of that. And more. Morgan woke up in the night a few weeks ago and had been sick all over her bed. When I first saw it, I lost my shit a bit. Had a cry behind a closed door while my husband comforted her. But then she was sick again and again and again and all she wanted was her mummy. It took me some time but after the 3rd or 4th time, I was there, rubbing her back/holding her hand while she was being sick. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done but I did it. Because she was all that mattered.


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