I hate being pregnant.

And even saying that makes me feel like shit. But I do.

This is just gonna feel like one massive whinge but I'm just finding it so hard and it's making me feel like a failure for not being able to cope.

I feel like it impacts everything. I just don't feel like myself anymore. I can't do anything I love doing or rather I don't love it the same. 

The smell of everything is different. My dogs food makes me gag. The smell of our fabric softener is so strong, it's making me hate it. I seem to be able to smell everything really strongly and it just makes me feel so sick all the time. 

The taste of everything is different. I don't like squash. Or anything to drink really. Anything I eat puts a horrendous taste in my mouth and makes me feel sick. But I also can't stop eating. I feel fat and like I look like shit all the time. 

I have completely gone off tea and coffee. The lack of caffeine is giving me wild headaches that I can only take paracetamol for, which does nothing.

My energy levels are so low, I just have no motivation to do anything. I'm averaging about 2k steps a day and it's making me feel like shit but I'm too tired to do anything about it. 

All I keep thinking is I just want to feel normal again. I don't want to wish away the days but I can't help it. I just feel so miserable. It's even making me a shit friend apparently... 

I've been counting down the days to the 2nd trimester... "it's so much easier than the first" but I don't feel any different. And now I feel like I'm just gonna feel like this for the whole 9 months and I dno how to feel any better. 


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