Been a while

Feel like it's been a while since I posted anything but it's only been a week. Guess it's been a long week... Got a few posts to catch up on. 

After such a lovely weekend, it's been a pretty tough week. 😔 Although we did get our first smile... 

Kris had his first night out, went to see Sam Fender with his brother (a Gig that's been rescheduled several times due to covid, that I was supposed to be going to 🙁) 

Morgan screamed in my face for pretty much the entire time he was gone. I felt horrendous. Kris came home to me crying in the dog bed. I was such a mess, I felt like a failure, I couldn't get my own baby to stop crying 😭 I know that's such a ridiculous thought, but in the moment its hard to think rationally. I was getting so frustrated, she was too tired to feed properly so was making me sore every time I tried, she would settle to sleep, just nothing worked. The longer it went on the more frustrated I got and she could obviously feel my frustration and that made her cry more, it was such a vicious cycle that I couldn't get out of. It was awful. 

Kris got home and took her downstairs so I could get some sleep, he managed to get her to settle after another hour or so and brought her to bed - then she slept until 5!! Amazing right?! Nope - I was in such a bad place that I even made that into a bad thing! "She had gone for 7 hours without food! Babies shouldn't go more than 4!! I'm such a bad mum!!" So much mum guilt!! I changed her and then tried to feed her, she fed for 5 mins and then went back down and I lie there feeling shit! 

Obviously I just needed a couple more hours sleep as I woke up at 8ish (she slept for another 3 hours!!!) and realised I was being stupid, if she was hungry she would cry! If she'd been hungry she would have fed for more than 5 minutes before going back to sleep! Just because they should feed every 3-4 hours doesn't mean they have to!! She was totally fine and I felt a thousand times better for having soem decent sleep! 

We had lots of kisses and cuddles and smiles the next day and slowly began to get over the drama of the night before. That night she was an absolute angel, slept for 3x 3 hours stints, waking up to be changed and fed quickly anf immediately going back down. Babies are strange. 




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