Mum Life

I have a poorly baby 😢 Morgan was sick last night. Again. Will the nursery bugs ever end?!? I feel like she hasn't been well since she started nursery.  I need to stop thinking in the moment. Whenever something happens my brain spirals and thinks the absolute worst possible scenario. Catastrophizing . "Omg she's gonna keep being sick. Omg she's gonna make me sick. Omg this is just my life now forever. I'm never gonna be happy again." I cannot stop crying. I feel so shit. How people cope that have actual sick children is beyond me. This is just fucking awful.  It's taking me back to 10 years ago when all my life revolved around being scared of being sick. Counting down time after exposure to something to consider myself safe. 6 hours for food poisoning. 48h for a tummy bug. I feel like I'm taking a massive step back. I used to avoid certain situations/food to reduce that risk. But I can't avoid my daughter, she just wants me. But every ...

Except its not just like that is it?! Just gotta read through this blog to see how hard it is to get through the first year and probably every year on from now! People saying "and just like that, we have a 1 year old" seriously pisses me off!! Why are you diminishing what you've done in the past year with that sentence?! Sorry, rant over... So I'm back at work. After 13 months on maternity leave. And it is fucking hard. Mum Guilt. Leaving your child at nursery or with someone else for the day while you go to work is perfectly normal, everyone does it. You don't have a choice, you have to go to work. So why do I feel so bad about it?!  Nursery bugs. Since going to nursery, Morgan has been unwell. A cough, conjunctivitis, a cold, the runs... It is relentless! And now my husband and mum have caught something as well (see previous post to imagine how I might be coping with this one!) - this is probably the main reason for the guilt... Leaving her at nursery when she d...

Emetophobia is an extreme fear of vomiting, seeing vomit, watching other people vomit, or even feeling sick. If you've read my other blog you will know that I've had a fear of being sick since I was a child. It used to impact my life every single day, almost to the point of an eating disorder. And then it didn't.  The last time I was sick from anything other than drinking too much, I was in high school. Well over 10 years ago. So I don't really know if I'm still scared of actually being sick or not. I don't think I am, but I don't know how I'd react if it actually came to it. The anxiety is still there but I'm pretty sure the fear of getting sick is worse than actually getting sick!  I used to be terrified of getting pregnant - how would I cope with morning sickness?! Then I got pregnant and wasn't sick once. Then I was scared of labour... Apparently lots of women are sick during that! Turns out I had a lot more to worry about than being sick! Bu...